Editor's Note In the summer of 1992, a few months after my 24th birthday, I became a survivor of suicide and life forever changed. Family and friends offered amazing support during a difficult time, but I soon realized it wasn't enough; I craved an understanding.  I needed to find a way to stifle the screaming voice inside me or an outlet for releasing it or both.  I don't remember how I found information on the SOS support group; I think my therapist shared it with me. I do, however, remember preparing for the meeting, dressing in all black, painting my face as if I were heading off to work or an evening out with friends, feeling lifeless, resembling a zombie, evolving into a young widow with every passing day. I reached the empty parking lot and breathed in deep and slow before taking the heavy steps into the small room in back of the Presbyterian Church. A petite, soft-spoken woman greeted me, introducing herself as the group leader. A few more people filled the tiny room, shuffling to find comfort in the cold, steel chairs, before our leader began speaking. Her name was Cathy Neeley, and she had lost her fourteen-year-old son Michael to suicide; she was a survivor. Although her voice shook and her hands trembled, her words held strength, reaching each of us in a way unique to our loss. Over the next year, I attended support group meetings, and Cathy and I grew close. With her, I could be honest about my ever-changing emotions, relentless guilt, and the sadness of learning to let go. Cathy shared with me too, and I understood that I was giving something no one else could. Through the years, Cathy and I have kept in contact, off and on, celebrating life, remembering loss. She even came to my wedding. I've never forgotten her, the first survivor I ever met. She still leads that support group at the Church, and I know she's touching each person who walks into the room, caressing them with her courage, guiding their measured steps onto a weathered path to recovery. As we celebrate The National Survivors of Suicide Day this November, I want to offer a special thank you to survivors, like Cathy, Coach Doug Merrill, and Carol Loehr, who utilize personal grief as the catalyst for healing other survivors, breaking the stigma of mental illness and suicide, and forming a safe haven for understanding.   Maria Riley Editor, Life Support  Survivor Spotlight: He's Got the Power Coach Doug Merrill is the author of Fighting the Demon of Suicide and the President and founder of the Power UP Foundation. Coach Merrill joined us in 2009 for the Out of the Darkness 5k Walk in Baldwin Park, speaking to walkers and supporters about the importance of physical and mental wellness. Soon afterwards, Coach Merrill founded the Power UP Foundation and began his empowering journey, "Run to the Keys," starting in Boston, Massachusetts on October 4. While he runs a half-marathon (13.1 miles) each day, Coach Merrill also makes stops along the way at high schools and colleges, spreading his message and inspiring others to literally follow in his footsteps. "Run to the Keys" wraps up in March 2010 in the Florida Keys. (Although he sprained his ankle this week while running, Coach Merrill continued his daily schedule, with crutches, symbolic of the Power Up message.) I know that you have lost several people to suicide. Could you tell me a little about those losses? There have been a total of eight people that I have known in one form or another that have taken their own life.  The issue of suicide began for me at the age of 13.  My friends and I were playing in the front yard of my parents' home when the wife of our neighbor and family friend came home and opened the garage door.  We were all stunned and shocked to find him lying on the floor of the garage.  Later that night it was confirmed that he had passed away and that the cause of death had been suicide. Continue Reading this interview . . . Join us for a Special Day of Healing and Hope The 11th Annual National Survivors of Suicide Day: A Day of Healing for Survivors of Suicide Loss Around the U.S. and the World. Join us on Saturday, November 21, 2009 at Bush Science Building, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park, FL 32789. Doors open at 8:45 a.m. Event Schedule: 9:30am - 5pm. Cost: $20 per person (includes box lunch and beverage) Conference includes: ·         Book Fair ·         Resource Room ·         unNOTiced Display ·         Wall of Remembrance Bring a copy of a photo of your loved one for our Wall of Remembrance. . . (Pictured above, from Left to Right: Sandy Hutto, Jennifer Anderson, Dianne Young, and Ann Dumont, members of the 2008 Conference Committee) Community Education: AFSP-CFL Around Town Mon Oct 12, Beth Wise presented to the Orlando Police Department Supervisors Thurs Oct 15 Displayed at UCF Healthy Knights Expo in Orlando attended by Vicki Long and Marie Dudek Mon Oct 26 Beth Wise spoke to attendees of the Orange County Crisis Intervention Team (CIT) Training in Orlando Wed Oct 28 Marie Dudek attended the Red Ribbon Lunch in Lakeland honoring Debbie Johnston (www.jeffreyjohnston.org) of Students for Safer Schools Fri Nov 6 Florida Partners in Crisis Circuit 10 meeting in Bartow was attended by Marie Dudek Tue Nov 10 Polk County School District Crisis Team Meeting presentation in Eagle Lake by Marie Dudek Wed Nov 11 More than Sad:  Teen Depression film showing and panel discussion in Highlands City led by Marie Dudek in collaboration with Tri-County Human Services and the Polk County School District Sat Nov 14 display for youth and parents at B.A.S.E.S. Athletic Development Clinic held at Tiger Town in Lakeland by Marie Dudek Lighting the Way for Others by Kim Garrity My mother and I participated in the Out of the Darkness Walk in East Hartford, Connecticut on October 17th, 2009. We talked to several people while enjoying the coffee, food, and a band provided by sponsors. It was a joining together to honor those we had lost. There was a table available for us to put pictures of our loved ones and fabric on the wall to write the name of the person we lost to suicide.  Individuals had been invited to light a candle for each group of survivors; those who lost their sons or daughters, their brothers or sisters, aunt, uncles or cousins, veterans, or physicians.  We silently acknowledged our loved one as individuals went up to the table to light the candle. I was also reminded of those who had contributed to the Out of the Darkness Walk, grateful for their pledges and sharing this day with me. We all headed out as a group for the simple walk, still connected to each other through the meaningfulness of the occasion, and at the end of the day, we raised $25,000 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As a result of my personal journey, I released some of the strong emotions I had through discussing it with others who had experienced a similar circumstance.  I would encourage anyone to participate in the Out of the Darkness Walk. Celebrities Cooking Up Holiday Comfort Actors Glenn Close, Marcia Gay Harden and Joe Pantoliano, comedian Joan Rivers, singer/songwriter James Taylor, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Melissa d'Arabian, winner of last season's "The Next Food Network Star," are sharing their culinary skills to help comfort those bereaved by suicide loss this Thanksgiving.    Each is sharing their favorite recipe as part of the Celebrity Thanksgiving Comfort Food Challenge, a promotional campaign for AFSP's National Survivors of Suicide Day program on November 21. Cast Your Vote Today! Sharing the Gift of Life: Author Carol Loehr Recently featured in Purdue University's College of Education Magazine, Florida author Carol Loehr returned to her beloved alma mater to speak to psychology students.  "A dream of mine was to work with students who were graduating in counseling and in education and be able to instill in them a desire to help children who suffer with depression," says Carol, "I wanted them to understand why a suicide occurs. If they graduate and are able to take a part of my message with them as they work with children my dream has been fulfilled." How did the idea to speak at Purdue come about? I graduated from Purdue University in 1965. I received my degree from the School of Education in Elementary and Special Education. Because I am an alumnus from the university, I sent them a copy of my book, My Uncle Keith Died.  After they received my book and information about my website, Thegiftofkeith.org, they sent me an e-mail asking if I wanted to be interviewed for The Purdue University College of Education Magazine. After the interview they asked if I would like to talk about my book and my work to a group of graduate students in counseling and educational psychology and undergraduate student teachers-in training.  What was the purpose of the talk/presentation? Suicide Prevention? The main purpose was to motivate teachers and counselors to have suicide prevention programs in schools.   Do you travel often doing presentations like this one? I do travel to give presentations a couple of times a year. I usually have different presentations for various groups. I have worked with the Employee Assistance Program, speaking in Albuquerque, New Mexico, The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), Compassionate Friends, and Bereaved Parents. It was wonderful meeting with the (Purdue University) students and seeing their passion for learning.  How did grief blossom into advocacy? I knew after Keith died that I had to learn everything I could about depression and suicide. I remember friends asking me what they could do for me, and I told them to check out every book from the library that had the word depression and suicide in it.   I remember being so hurt at some of the things people said to me. I knew right away that I would save every article I read or any other resources that could be used to help another survivor. I never wanted another survivor to have to go through the pain that I felt due to the stigma of mental illness and suicide.  How did it feel to be back on campus? The Purdue campus has changed so much since my husband and I graduated.  We had a tour of the campus and were able to attend a Purdue Football game with the Dean of Education.  You've mentioned how much your husband is involved with spreading awareness as well. Tell us a little more about that. My husband Dick is such a support to me; he has written so many wonderful articles about Keith. I have placed some of his articles on my website. Men have such a hard time explaining their grief. I receive so many e-mails from other men survivors; they can relate to Dick's articles.  I met you last year at the National Survivors of Suicide Day Conference at Rollins College. It was obvious how much you and your family missed Keith but celebrated his life. Could you tell us about your son? Keith was a son that was full of life. He never lost a friend that he made. He loved the outdoors. He was an avid fisherman, and his passion was fly fishing. Keith even tied his own flies.  Keith never showed any signs of depression until he took a job after graduate school with a medical products company. The company put unbelievable pressure on Keith. He was not qualified to perform the job he was given. I think the hardest thing for me is that I wish I knew more about the signs of depression. I never knew that Keith's loss of weight could be a warning sign of depression. Keith was so loved by his two sisters, Cindy, 18 months younger and Carrie, 8 years younger. He was a brother that was always there for his sisters.  I can still remember the time he went to Chicago to find a safe apartment for his sister Cindy. My husband was so happy about the last trip he took with Keith, fly fishing to Alaska. When I talk about Keith, I can't stop talking ... :) I miss him every day.  Carol & Maryann Santos de Barona         Dick & Carol Loehr Mental Health Wellness Week November 14 - 21, 2009 is Mental Health Wellness Week. How are you taking exquisite care of your mental health?  Here are some strategies for Good Mental Health Wellness: http://mhww.org/strategies.html Survivor Support Groups Friends and Families of Suicides Suicide Grief  HALOSflorida.org State of Florida Support Groups AFSP-Central Florida  203 Golf Vista Circle Davenport, FL 33837 888.458.1460  www.afsp.org/cfl Questions or Comments? Send us your email.

Upcoming Chapter Meeting Mark your calendar: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 at Hospice of the Comforter 480 W Central Parkway (use employee entrance/upper level) Altamonte Springs, FL 32714. All chapter members are invited to attend. Join our MeetUp site. Quick Links AFSP Out of the Darkness Florida Mental Health Services Locator Healing with Time Help Promote Hope For Suicide Survivors NAMI Greater Orlando AAS TWLOHA Pathways Active Minds Lakeside Behavioral The Justin Tobin Memory Walkers, Top 2009 OOTD Team Register for the 2010 Out of the Darkness Walk in Baldwin Park   The Out of the Darkness Community Walk is a 3-5 mile scenic walk taking place in more than 200 communities across the country this year. Proceeds will benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, to fund research, education, survivor and awareness programs - both to prevent suicide and to assist those affected by suicide. Join one of our Top Teams: Team Jessica Shannon's Angels Team Orsini Team Simon Rollins PSY for Vicki Or start your own team with family, friends, and coworkers. Walk to Raise Awareness, Walk to Save Lives . . . Outofthedarkness.org Quotes on Healing "The only journey is the journey within." -- Rainer Maria Rilke "The best way out is always through." --Robert Frost "Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." --Bill Cosby "Love Yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." --Lucille Ball "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." --Annie Dillard "Survivors always stand in three places at once, our feet planted in the present with hearts still reflecting upon the past and those we've lost as we cautiously listen to the call of the future, moving forward one deep breath at a time."  ___________________ Help Wanted Grant writer  (contact Marie Dudek at mdudek@afsp.org or 863-424-4810) County Liaisons  (contact Donna Beck at djsstories@yahoo.com) Teams for the Feb 6, 2010 Out of the Darkness 5K Community Walk (www.outofthedarkness.org ) Media/Public Relations (contact Maria Riley @ lifeofriley1@cfl.rr.com. Creating Today Peace, love and joy. How does anyone find them in their own life? All I can tell you is how my journey in life made me aware of each. Continue reading Marie Dudek's inspirational feature article, in The Polk Voice, about the loss of her daughter, Natalie, to suicide. Corporate Sponsors  As the Out of the Darkness Community Walk event grows, so do the advantages of becoming a sponsor. In addition to being acknowledged on our walk website and in every email correspondence, sponsors will receive exposure in every medium this event provides. Sponsors are also featured on all of the printed materials, walk and volunteer t-shirts, signage at walk, and in AFSP's monthly newsletter, Life Support. Your sponsorship will help raise awareness, end the stigma surrounding suicide and mental illness, and save lives through education and research. We also welcome In-Kind Sponsorship. In-kind donations include water, coffee and sports drinks; to protein bars, fruit, and other types of snacks. For more information, contact Marie Dudek at mdudek@afsp.org. Grief Seminar with Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt Tuesday, December 15, 2009 Lakeland, Florida Helping Yourself Heal When Someone Dies We look forward to having you join us for an evening of hope and healing. Someone in your life has died. You are now faced with the difficult, but important need to mourn. This compassionate program provides you support in your personal grief experience. There is no cost to attend this special event. Sponsored by Gentry-Morrison Funeral Homes To learn more about Dr. Wolfelt, visit the Center for Loss & Life Transition "My Uncle Keith Died"/ $12 Trafford Publishing Phone: 888-232-4444 E-mail: orders@trafford.com Paperback | 172 pages ISBN: 978-0-9802184-0-4 Purchase at Amazon or Atlas Books or visit powerupfoundation.com Become a Fan of AFSP Central Florida on Facebook You'll find the latest updates from Central Florida and the entire AFSP family.  Follow AFSP-Central Florida on Twitter at AFSP-Central Florida . Follow AFSP-Central Florida on MySpace Join Our Mailing List!

Save the  Dates

November 21, 2009 National Survivors of Suicide Day Conference at Rollins College in Winter Park, Florida. Contact AFSP-CFL President Ann Dumont for details and volunteer opportunities at anndu2@hotmail.com Saturday, February 6, 2010 Third Annual Out of the Darkness 5k Community Walk in Baldwin Park, Orlando, Florida. Contact Walk Chair Vicki Long to learn how to form a team, become a team leader, or visit outofthedarkness.org. Join the Walk Committee, volunteers are always needed. Contact Vicki to learn more at vlong@rollins.edu

www.afsp.org/cfl